Its a long story, but yes,I did hurt him unintentionally. What do you do when its your child that does this? Your depression and anxiety were all-but-cured. Being so introverted, I am often initially drawn to very emotional, social people. What do I need to do? For the aspie: There was that first big fight that happened. It started way too intense (from his side), Idk but maybe he lovebombed me, he would take me to the best restaurants, have best dates, talk everyday for hours he invited me to meet his family. But wont face the point of the argument. We have hidden this from his family and I make him look like an awesome husband and dad in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, cousins. Once that person had moved on with their life, I was still standing still and feeling negative about myself all the time. Did he really never love me? Thank you. He has a therapist I pushed him to get, due to a personal addiction that was ruining our/his personal life that he was obsessed with. Is there any hope he might decide we should be together again. Let them knoe that you still love them but that this is not healthy. She is my daughter and I will always love her. No talking. And in the intoxicating whir of this new relationship, your existential despair became a thing of the past. Dont settle for less than having a gentleman for a husband. He then moped around work looking lost and depressed for a while, but never made an effort to talk to me even though we worked super close together, and hed even go out of his way to avoid me at any cost (in the hallway, elevator, etc.) After any type of difficult conversation she said she would spend days in bed, and we were stressing her out and negatively affecting her job. The poor lamb couldn,t cope. :). These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. I felt lied to and discarded. Well see. This person had been abused, overlooked, mistreated, and devalued. It all makes sense now. He cant lie very well. Something terrible happened to me and my partner last week but mainly to me, a violation of my privacy and my partner who is aspie felt as though his pride was damaged and now blames me for what has happened. I cant say anything without an attitude coming back at me. Youre certainly not an expert in psychology or neurology just because you belong to a neurotype any more than a person with cancer isnt an oncologist. Since an NT doesn't understand what an effort we've been making, they're liable to think us cold when we stop trying so hard. He didnt seem to mind at all. A good therapist would help him set a schedule for gaming for example. He has just the past month tried therapy and got a prescription for medication which I know is more than most ND would. He is on to the next woman looking for the Holy Grail I guesshe can't seem to relate in a normal way so obviously to him, it's my fault that things didn't work out. Why can't you focus on reliable information, like facts?" Girl: "You're weird. I notice that all my fellow students and co-workers have no issue in becoming buddies and laughing and joking and hanging out. Source: www.anewmode.com Sometimes too, it's other medications as many drugs which treat psychological conditions which . My (suspected) highly functioning autistic child is 2.5 months into giving us the silent treatment after we took away his computer access given the gaming addiction he developed and we had been dealing with for 2+ years. Strong daily routines and an aversion to change. If you want to try with him again he will most likely not comply, but If he is stop open to it you will need to chill out, do not be critical of him in any way, do not ask for anything, do not pressure him to do activities, do not contact him unless its to offer him something of comfort, and everything has to seem like his idea so pose things you want in a way that will allow him to come to his own conclusions. Aspies don't make eye contact. I got angry and now I havent heard from him in 5 days. Always take care of yourself and never doubt for a moment that you have been an exceptional spouse. I have spent 10 years with an undiagnosed aspie, it was only when I started googling his behaviour from something on the tele, that I found out about aspies. For the first time, you werent experiencing jealousy or fears of infidelity anymore because this was a person who was authentic, genuine, real. It was like a switch flipped in him. Run! Those demands are just the normal give and take of reciprocal and empathic communication. Its all about Them. She and her son moved in, and it's been a rollercoaster. Explain to him that he has the right to take time for himself if he needs to. The silent treatment is really a cruel form of abuse and it includes more, like ignoring and shunning, and treating you as if your opinion doesn't count. Now let's move onto more genuine and solvable reasons. I need the break away from it all. However, I also hope you wait to get some response. When things started getting real or life too stressful.. Its all so sad, All your stories. I said I wanted to work things out with him. The whole 3 years he was sexting other people whilst pretending to be a girl and when i found out he told me he loved me and wont do it again and that it was his only outlet because no one knows he is bi. Seriously. I was so confused, but after 3 painful months once he had time to think about it, and during a break so he had time to think (because he's normally quite stressed and busy) about it, he realized what he had done, and then he came back and tried to help me through all the pain that he had caused by all of a sudden just closing up to me. It took me years to reclaim my life, and only after I found emotionally safe professionals and friends. I usually sit on it but for once i called it out the next day and all hell broke loose (from me) and she went dark, no responses to texts, calls or emails. After a few false starts, we embarked on a passionate and loving relationship, the intensity of which I'd never known before. Good observation Daniel. Run! Familiarize yourself with the signs, sometimes known as the seven stages of trauma bonding. I must have broken up with him at least ten times and thought about it even more. I feel ripped off because I never got a chance to make things right with him. They dont have to forgive, beg or change. I care about her and want my friend back. A couple of months ago I met a wonderful woman at work. He only talked to me to gaslight me and ignores all my messages. That day I decided to leave him for good. When we were apart, he seldom shared his life and was distant. February 3, 2021 / 1:08 pm (MST) Yes it is hardvery.if he is meant to come backhe will.in the meantime look after You..Your mental healthlove You! NTs can assist with change resistance problems by becoming aware of unusual "quietness" in their partner and encouraging discussion. His mental state is his business and it isnt about you and nobody is entitled to insights into his mental state etc. I also offer monthly free webinars for course participants. Unfortunately many use the silent treatment to get away from the distress and never return to resolve the problem with the other person. Two days ago I sent him an understanding email, to try to let him know that Im not angry and that either way, whether he decided to break up with me or stay together, life would carry on calmly. And i have no idea to deal with him. So true on the not getting better!! We are divorcing. avoid certain activities or expectations. Hes not that far on the spectrum and I think things will be better by dinner time. My husband worshipped me. Is this about me or is it a sad effort to keep away a world he does not understand? Dealing with the same. We could never finish a single conversation. He is cold, vacant and empty. We would come back home and he was wasted ordering excessive junk food and eating it all while watching TV (i watched in disgust), not even noticing if I existed and constantly falling asleep on the couch. We dated again for over a year, made plans to build a future together and then he went cold with no explanation. I had done nothing wrong. My bf was wonderful in the beginning. From what i have expierienced they Will not, cannot chang because their own trauma in looking into themselves Will Cruseman them too much pain. Our website has recordings of past teleconferences. We do not live together. Armed with this info, I told I was sorry I hurt his feelings. Friends of he's encouraged me to pursue him as he is shy, telling me that he wanted to be in a loving relationship with me, however once I made some caring moves toward him he pushed me away! It will be a long, cold, lonely, life. Here are three things to know to identify and break away from trauma-bonded relationships. I have written to her asking if she would just like to unfriend each other to give her a out but she hasnt yet. He will not change. Cooked for him non stop, bought him little gifts, embraced his kids etc. I am happy to consult with you on what to look for in an evaluator, though. I have lots of friends who know me and us well, and feel like he needs an intervention. I ve read so much on how to try and understand Aspergers and to make our marriage last. Very particular eating habits. By not saying goodbye and other not nice things. Me and my bff worked together for over 2 years and in that time, he literally barely spoke a word to ANYONE at work. He went from loving me to cutting me out of his life behaving like he was single, telling me things had changed and he never loved me. In my experience, its not about what they have, its about what they need to be able to become a better person to have an understanding that they cannot be abusive to others. I know this post is literally YEARS old haha, but I stumbled upon this blog and it has been helping me, because I had a very close Aspie friend (I am NT), and have recently gone through very similar stories to everyones here. Ive long felt simultaneously guilty (because I know that my emotional lack of control/abusive language to him trigger these periods, but honestly, it is like .0001 of myself, it is the perimenopausal hormonal fed-up exhausted SAHM. He is a logical thinker, not emotional as i can see you obviously are. Obviously this is not all the time because he is insensitive, nasty, and demeaning although he never means to be, and when I call him out on this behavior, he immediately apologizes if and only if, he senses I am beyond hurt with him. But then he withdrew sex and affection saying he felt off. As to your anger, please be compassionate with yourself. Fight that happened most ND would for him non stop, bought him little gifts, embraced his kids.. As many drugs which treat psychological conditions which take care of yourself and never doubt for a that! Was still standing still and feeling negative about myself all the time have no issue becoming. 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